35 Days to Go

We don't have an exact date for the c-section yet, but I'm 36 weeks on Sunday, March 16. Splitting the difference between March 17 (my choice) and March 19 (when I'm 36.5 weeks as the doctor specified) gives us March 18: thirty-five more days in the best-case scenario.

Now that I've exhausted all I could find to read on vasa previa and torn myself from the computer, the worst of the panic has subsided. It is what it is, and we don't have much to say about how it's going to go. There's only one scenario that can really go badly, and that's if the baby's blood vessels spontaneously rupture with no warning sign. In that case there won't be anything we can do to save the baby, even if the OR team are standing beside my bed, knives in hand.

Fortunately other scenarios are much more likely, such as my water leaking or breaking with no immediate vessel rupture, or changes to my cervix, or contractions. Or reaching 36 weeks without incident. In all these cases they'll be cutting me open within fifteen minutes (perhaps slightly more leisurely in the last case) and the baby should be just fine. He'll be early, but our 33-weeker was fantastically healthy, so that doesn't worry me much.

I've ordered four preemie outfits and five boxes of pantyliners that can detect amniotic fluid leaks. My hospital bag is packed, the maternity ward phone number is posted on the fridge, and we've practiced the route to the hospital during rush hour (also under 9 minutes). I walk slower than a Sunday driver and spend a lot of time resting on the couch. I don't go anywhere farther from the hospital than our home and I've always got a driver with me. This week that's my father-in-law; my husband is in Barcelona for a long-planned and important business trip. His employer was incredibly wonderful to us during our daughter's illness and death--which all began less than three weeks after he was hired--so I'm glad we don't have to ask for special treatment again quite yet.

My in-laws are a real blessing. Always there for us, fun to be with, enthusiastic about the kids and never imposing. My father-in-law is telecommuting to work from my husband's attic office and my mother-in-law cancelled the week's agenda to come stay with me. He's glued to a 50-meter circle of which I am the center; she brings the kids to and from school and has taken over several household tasks. Everyone should be so lucky. My in-laws make up for a lot.